My first thought was: Here’s the perfect kind of individual to be installed with his head protruding into the bowl of a toilet in a public rest room…

Then again, maybe the best solution would be to stake him out in the target sand-pit of a week-long Special Olympics javelin competition…and make sure that sand-pit has a nice colony of fire-ants in residence, as well.

It’s kinda hard to choose - maybe, do both…

Two suggestions, the milder first:

1. Consumed by insects. I prefer digger wasps or equivalent, but scarabs or other external critters is acceptable.

2. Tied in the bottom of a pit. Women come along and throw their used feminine hygiene products on him. At some point after he goes catatonic from disgust at the “uncleanliness” surrounding him, he’ll die of suffocation or crushing. Or dehydration works; I’m not picky.

Needs oomph, SteveF.

1. Dig a deep hole just wide enough to hold a coffin vertically.

2. Install perp head-down with his arms extended so he can hold himself up.

3. Pour in two feet of liquefied pig shit.

There’s one I’ve heard about that I’m quite fond of (as a concept, anyway). Tie said POS to a well-anchored post alongside ocean shore, at high tide, such that water is just below said POS’ mouth. Make small slit in belly of POS, just enough to hook out a loop o’ small intestine. Tie said loop to a large float, drop in water. As tide goes out, float pulls out more and more of his small intestines, which are then dined upon by fish, crabs, etc. Supposedly, you can last for HOURS this way - and the whole “fish eating your guts while you stand there helpless” thing always appealed to me. Supposedly quite painful, too.

A medieval (?) method I heard of for dealing with kiddie diddlers is to nail his hoo-hoo to a log and light the other end of the log on fire. Give the Michael Jackson precursor a knife and let him cut his hoo-hoo off if he wishes – but if he does so, enslave or kill him.

One last thought, then I’ve got to be going -

SteveF’s “medieval” comment reminded me - a somewhat-seldom used, but particularly agonizing medieval punishment was to be flayed (skinned) alive.

The intended victim was nailed (yes, nailed - quite literally) to two tall, stout poles set upright about 3 - 4 feet apart, planted firmly in the ground. The nails went through each foot and each hand and into the poles, with the hands at about head-height, thus spread-eagling the victim between the poles. all clothing was then removed

Then, beginning with a shallow vertical cut down the spine, and a shallow cross-the-T cut along the back of the shoulders, the flayer (wielding a skinning blade) slowly, gradually cut and peeled the entire skin off, working around both sides towards the front. Subsequent cuts along the backs of the arms and the legs, with girdling cuts at the wrists and ankles, led to flaying the skin off of the extremities. Finally, beginning at the bottom rear of the neck, the entire skin covering the neck, head and face would be cut and peeled forward.

A skilled flayer could then literally yank the entire skin off of the victim’s body.

For additional effect, since most victims would have lost consciousness, a large bucket of cold salt water could be administered, which could produce consciousness (as well as intense additional pain), and might serve to slow bleeding a bit.

I’ve read that the victim could, in fact, live for as much as another hour or two…

Perhaps appropriate, though not quite as prolonged as some of the others…

WOW!
Some seriously good suggestions here; my compliments to all.

But I have sad/bad news. As the Pakistani official has noted, these are HUGE sums of $$$ in Pakistan. Therefore, this program by the Taliban, has been designated by the Øbama administration to be the next one to receive US subsidies. A clause will be sneaked into the Crap & Trade Bill to cover it.

I think you have to be civilized - at least beyond the middle ages - in order for that one to work on you, Dave, which sorta lets out these Islamist barbarians.

However, for the rest of us - I’m in agony just from reading that.

Similar to the Powerpoint one, this won’t work in Pakistan, but I always thought that our worst criminals should be forced to life in prison with a TV tuned 24/7 to CSPAN. When congress isn’t in session they could run loops of “greatest hits” from the past or tapes of local county commission meetings or school board meetings.

Patel, C-SPAN is not without its uses. When I’ve had insomnia I’ve put C-SPAN on the tube with the volume just high enough to hear, but not high enough to make out the words. It always works.